For example, attached to this post are two self portraits. On the left, a scrubby, bearded post collegiate, and on the right, a sharp, bespectacled young man. Mind you, most of these differences are in self-perception. I still put off shaving unless there is a special occasion and I am more prone to wearing a t-shirt than a suit. Mostly because my job demands work-clothes. Damn, I would love to be able to wear a sharp suit to work. Except if I worked from home this suit would almost look like a pair of boxer shorts. Just barely though.

I love my new glasses, with their hip flair and the power of Second Sight that they grant me. They allow me to see just how terrible I looked before. Those who frequent the blog will be happy to hear that my hair is at a comfortable length now. No longer scoffing at gravity and falling nicely into place in an all too sexy tousled mess.

All in all, I'm happy with the new me, and I request you all update your mental pictures accordingly. Especially Nadir, whose mental image of me probably still involves a pudgy, shorn face and an adult diaper. Ugh. College.

Tonight is the eve of the New SuperEgo Video Super Shorts! Starting tomorrow, a new animated sketch will be released every two weeks. TWO WEEKS?!  Oh those clever bastards know how to parse out a good time.

Just as we are forgetting the delicious morsel of new content so generously doled out the week before, BAM. New episode.  I write this now in preparation for the possibility that the short I animated this spring is the first one released! –And ohhhh man. Possibility is the mother of motivation.

I uploaded new artwork, I spiffed up my twitter page, and look, I'M BLOGGING. All this in anticipation for the influx of visitors to my digital realms brought on by the fact that a short animated piece of my creation will be available for wide audience viewing on several super, super popular websites.

What websites you ask? Well, the Video Super Shorts will be viewable on:

• goSuperego.com
• iTunes
• F-F-FUNNYORDIE.COM
• Youtube
• And more!

I am full of excitement, and people who see my video will show up here and bear witness to my noobish, amateur glee, but I'm not sure I mind all that much. So stay tuned!

Few people know this, but I'm telling the truth when I tell you that I wear glasses. Not in the present tense or anything like that. More like in the way of saying "His corneas are ellipses, so he needs glasses". Again, not in the present tense though. I don't wear them currently. They are not sitting on my face right now, nor have I been misleading you in all my portraits/photos/doodles! I would never dare embellish my drawn self. 

The last pair of glasses I owned fell in a creek in 2006. This is my best guess anyway. We arrived at said creek, frolicked, got muddy, and upon arriving home, realized I had no glasses. Mind you, I wasn't blind as a bat without them. I had only a mild astigmatism at the time, so they were reserved for comfort or nighttime driving.

Not long after that trip I moved to New York City and had no use for driving. Or comfort. Bah! I was in no hurry to replace them, and lackadaisical whimsy turned into outright forgotten procrastination.

Well, my eyes have gotten worse since then and I catch myself squinting all the time to make out details of distant objects. If you know me, you might call me Squinty McSquintyPants, Squinty McGee, or Japanese, which is sticks for you because I am half Japanese. You racist. Now, after nearly 5 years without glasses, I've become fed up with squinting, getting squinting headaches, not recognizing people I know until I nearly pass them, and the squinting. But most importantly, on Labor Day weekend Audrey and I are going upstate to my parents' lake house, where we will lounge about, swim, and best of all: I want to star gaze. Recently at my cousin's wedding, I looked up towards the heavens and saw only black speckled with smeary dots. THIS WILL NOT DO. Living in New York has made me forget what it is to see the stars! I had to fix this.

So I looked up some of the better known eyeglass places here in NYC. In my searches, I came to find that every optometrist is either absolutely terrible, or that google maps is full of slighted customers, angrily pounding out bad reviews in order to stick it to these stores. While the latter psychologically makes sense, I decided not to take my chances.

I decided on Park Slope Optical, because it's nearby and the man I spoke to on the phone didn't sound like he was 20 and already done with living. It was an altogether wonderful experience. Good selection of frames, really friendly service, and I spoke at length to the optometrist about painters whose eye ailments presented through their paintings. I was in and out in less than an hour and my glasses should be ready by Wednesday. GREAT SUCCESS.

There is only one downside to all of this: Now that I know my glasses are on their way, the anticipation of once again seeing clearly is upon me. Now that I remember that clear vision is possible. Now that I have come to terms with the fact that I have been doing my vision a great disservice…

I find it an absolute bother to squint anymore. It is offensive to me.

I catch myself  looking at far away objects thinking, "Why should I squint at that like a damned peasant?" 

Having bad eyesight made me work muscles around my eyes that I never even knew I had, and now I'd be damned if I ever used them again.

• Move
• Close

The other day Audrey handed me a monster specimen of a cherry tomato and warned me not to choke on it. The first image that came to me was what you see in the most recent comic. The thought of some oxymoronically sized nightshade being eaten in the completely wrong manner was too good not to draw. The comic was also an interesting study in the sense that I've never drawn Audrey as a cartoon before. She didn't complain, so mission accomplished. Now if only she'd let me repost the Victorian corset-clad portrait I did of her way back.

I still haven't eaten the tomato in question. It really is pretty big- almost normal tomato sized. I don't even know where to start. Biting into it conjures images of John Noble's character King Denethor feasting alone in a great hall, amidst a battle where his own son rides to his demise. While a hobbit serenades in the background, the king ravenously eats scraps of food, which includes some cherry tomatoes, the sloppy juice running down his chin. Every time I see John Noble or a goddamn cherry tomato, I think of this scene and I shudder a little.

It took me a whole season to get over it watching Fringe. 

Granted, most of my meals are eaten above the kitchen sink in my boxers at odd intervals during the day. Like 3pm and 1:50am. But to just bite into it and risk chin dribble? Barbaric.

My other option is to break out cutlery to carve up the gargantuan vine-fruit, which just seems like it's too much. Using cutlery on hand-held foods is reserved for Chipotle burritos, and it smacks of snobbery. Because what's important, when in my boxers at the kitchen sink, is that I don't seem elitist. Its like when Mickey Mouse, in his Jack and the Beanstalk story, wherein the poor bastards only had one bean to eat and they portioned it into transparent slices. Pathetic.

Scratching these two methods off the list pretty much leaves one option: swallowing the whole thing. This is clearly the desperate move of a man stymied by his preconceived notions of how not to eat, decided by memories of old cartoons and fantasy epics. John Noble really did ruin tomatoes for me. Godammit.

Eddie found himself next on my list of subjects. I opted to use a softer brush to bring out how pretty and regal he is. The man practically glows in the greased lens of his majestic life. YAWN. Though I do think I hit the mark. A bit more stylized than I'd like, but he really does have saucer eyes.

Now I just have to combine my two feline subjects into the most flattering, yet ridiculous portrait ever. I'm worried that the two styles will clash, but they already have this Yin-Yang thing going on.

What with Eddie being a white cat with conventionally perfect features and cool composure, while Ferdinand represents the flawed, primal side; frantic and wild in nature. The portrait itself will be hyperbolic in its mockery of the whole photo-portrait genre. Some of you may know where this is going, the rest will have to wait.  

In the meantime, here's Ron Livingston, the reason I don't sleep anymore. 

I just can't stop hitting repeat!

• Move
• Close

In case it is not immediately apparent, the man pictured, due to some circumstance which is depriving him of breathable air, has inserted a siphon past the water trap of his toilet in order to tap his plumbing for sweet, sweet oxygen. You know this guy is thinking, 

"Genius! I'll just breathe poo gas until this fire/sarin gas cloud blows over!" 

But you KNOW just two seconds after this guy inhales a mouth-full of poo gas from below his crapper, he's going to say, "Oh Fuck! It's full of poo gas! TAKE ME NOW, LORD!" 

Judging from this brilliant escape plan, I imagine he would next fill the bathtub with water, grab a straw and submerge himself until the fire goes out. Ooh ooh! He could also fashion himself a heat proof igloo out of pried ceramic tiles from his bathroom floor. 

How did he end up getting stuck in the bathroom anyway? And why are there so many numbers and arrows? There should be just one that reads

Fig. a "Breathe Poo Gas For Great Justice!"

Or better yet:

1. Escape from fire by trapping yourself in your bathroom.
2. Shimmy handy siphon into toilet trap.
3. Breathe poo gas.
4. FUCK–

Now, I know that by making fun of this clever, yet futile survival technique, I will be ironically thrown into a situation where I myself will have to breathe poo gas to save my life.

As I suckle what little air I can from those fetid pipes, I'll curse the man who wrote the book that tells you to breathe what the water trap in your toilet was built to keep out. I'll curse him for putting that stupid idea into my desperate mind as the conflagration inches ever closer to breaching my hygenic fortress of solitude.

…and if I survive such an encounter, I will tell nobody.

• Move
• Close

Pretty sure this guy coined the term 'Poo Gas'

• Move
• Close

Pretty sure this guy coined the term 'Crud Vapors'

Audrey wants a portrait of the cats for her cube. I had to start with Ferdinand. No offense to Eddie, but he's easy. Ferd's so damaged, but proud, it presented an immediate challenge in capturing his likeness. 

I leave for upstate New York tomorrow afternoon, and since I'm not going to take my 'sploded laptop, tonight was a bad time to start a new painting, but I just had to start SOMETHING. My portfolio is very much lacking in wholly painted works, which I know I can do, but my work for Auxiliary tends to favor fast, graphic work. I love laying the groundwork for a painting, but I often get bogged in the blending, which when painting with gouache, is automatic and unavoidable. Especially so, when you paint like me, barely thinning the paint to the point where it goes down more like oil than water-media.

Speaking of paintings, I just bought a shmancy all-in-one wireless printer to replace my crummy inkjet and Canoscan Scanner, which still works GREAT despite being about ten years old! Unfortunately, Canon no longer makes drivers for my particular model, so it became obselete when I switched to a 64 bit OS. Hopefully, with this new printer, I'll be able to crank out some nice prints to sell. This step of my success ladder has long been overdue.

"Gee Maki, you have some great work on the site. Can I buy some of it?"

"Uh, well. That one's actually 3 different canvases photoshopped together, and the new stuff doesn't even HAVE a physical analog–"

"Well, I guess I'll just have to spend my money on a Thomas Kincaid painting. Look at that lighthouse!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

So you heard to here first… as opposed to elsewhere. I'm going to start putting together a page where you can buy my stuff pretty soon. I hereby pledge to use the money earned from said bought stuff to buy beer to pour out for my retired scanner. Then I'll drink the rest of the 6-pack and rest on what little laurels trickle in. FAME.

Obscure? Maybe. Relevant? You bet Frank Pacholski's quivering buttock it is.

Got a haircut today in order to try to fight back the oppressive heat. While I feel a lot better, I think the barber took a little too much off the sides and perhaps, through no fault of his own, underestimated the fact that my hair shrugs off gravity until it reaches some planck length which tips it into behaving like normal people hair. Either way, I can't shake the feeling that I now look like Walter Sobchak.

On the bright side, it has a week to grow out before I will ever be photographed again (Wedding! Argh!) So I can always hope that a little time will even things out. Besides, it's not like anybody can ever call you a "Fat John Goodman" !

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA!

….God Dammit. He really slimmed down.

• Move
• Close

Oh man. It. Is. HOT. I checked weather.com out of morbid curiosity and this is what it told me. Thanks weather.com. What it really feels like is that the sun lives downstairs. It's so damn hot out that everything feels hot, not just objects exposed to the horrible sunlight. The floor is hot. THE FLOOR IS HOT. I am almost 100% sure this is one of those warning signs you learn as a child about fire safety.

• Carefully check the floor for heat. If the floor is hot, it means there is a fire underneath it. Good luck.

Intense sweating means that drawing is out of the question. But then I thought, "Hey, I have a MACBOOK! I can take that and my tablet into the living room with the AC!" Brilliant! But like Steinbeck said, the best laid schemes 'o mice and men are…often…

Well I'm sure the rest is crocheted on a pillow somewhere.

Now, let me clear this up right away. I am a PC. My middle name might as well be Hodgman. My mac only gets used when I travel, want to have a computer in a remote location, or need street cred while in Williamsburg. It rarely goes outside of its protective bag. So when I pulled it out to find the battery panel peeling off, I shat a brick.

My first thought was,

"You moron, you put something on the bag and somehow pried the panel off"

My second thought was a familiar one used for broken objects and disembowelments,

"Put it back in, put it back in!".

But try as I might, I couldn't get the panel back on, and upon further inspection I noticed that something inside had swollen and busted out of the battery. One quick google search of "swollen battery" later and my fears were assuaged. Apparently this happens a lot.

"I wouldn't call it a safety feature, but if the battery didn't swell and break out, it would explode from the pressure instead" -Anonymous Apple Tech

Lucky me. Because I don't use it often, the damage could have occurred anytime between February and yesterday. At least it wasn't 'while it was on my gonads'. The techs asked me to bring it in for inspection. Fine. Alright. Back to my room ON THE SUN.

"Who is that Bald Hipster at the Top of the Post?"

You take that back right now, you bastard. That, my friends is a drawing of the lovely and charming George Hrab, who I had the pleasure of meeting this past Saturday. George is a musician, songwriter, singer, podcaster, and overall really really chill guy.  He was in NYC celebrating the release party for his 6th album, Trebuchet, which is available from iTunes or CD Baby.com. 

I've been a big fan of the Geologic Podcast and his music for a few months now, and my girlfriend Audrey can attest to how much I'd gush over his smooth character and snazzy fashion sense. But not only that, but he runs a very very well produced show that never fails to entertain.  Like his resume, the show covers a medley topics, most listener submitted, ranging from interesting fauna to musical anecdotes surrounding his career as a drummer in a funk band. George finds a perfect balance in taking everything he loves, wants, and believes in and channeling it into his craft. 

The party itself was great and the turnout was pretty good for the space. Part of me would have loved to see 700 people show up to congratulate George, but I'm glad it was a more intimate crowd. This was my first skeptically themed event so it was doubly great to meet not only George but area skeptics too. The smaller space contributed well to just interacting with total strangers talking about Phil Plait's skepdude calendar photo, which came up way too often now that I think about it…

Anyway, congratulations again to George, and I highly recommend you check out his podcast and music, whether you are a skeptic or not.

"Where's That Cartoon You Were Talking About?"

It's finished! In case you didn't know, I was working on a video super short for the sketch comedy podcast Superego. HUZZAH! I shoved it out the door, it was met with glee, and I sighed a breath of relief. I'll have more info when they release the collection, but for now, I've posted some still! Enjoy!

• Move
• Close

It’s OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!

• Move
• Close

How am I supposed to work in this weather!?

• Move
• Close

John Hodgman. He's a PC.

• Move
• Close

George Hrab's new album Trebuchet

• Move
• Close

Erotic, at best.

• Move
• Close

• Day Job. Day job day job day job. This past may, like every year, JgoodDesign was at the ICFF. Which means I was crazy busy. I'm talking 60-80 hour weeks for all of us at the company. Madness. Then when it came time to set up the show, we barely worked a full day. Awesome. Then came long hours catching up. Oh I hate spring.
• FLASH. AHHHHH-AHHHHH!!   So during this hectic period, I got really depressed and wanted to make art. So what do I do? Throw myself headfirst into a Flash animation of course. GREAT IDEA. The good news is, I'm almost done, and the audio is by hilarious sketch group SUPEREGO! It will be part of a collection of video shorts coming soon. I'll post some stills and info on where to get the collection once it is completed.
• Lazy. I noticed I've been posting all my thoughts and witticisms to Facebook recently, when instead I should be posting them here and linking on Facebook. Ya know. For the page hits. Bam. Going to find ways to make it easier to quickly post random thoughts here.

So do stay tuned. Please.