Q. Can you call a web comic 'science'? It seems like a broad term.

A. First of all, it's Sci-ənce, with a schwa. Second, I'm pretty sure that by now science has entered the public domain.

Q. So, what will happen to this site?

A. The Bard will remain my online portfolio for all things artsy fartsy, while Sci-ənce becomes the depository for web comics, commentary, and merchandising. 

Q. What about your older comics?

A. Not sure yet. I might keep some of the better ones and toss them into the mix somewhere, otherwise, that section of the site will be disassembled. Man, that sounds official.

Q. So we won't be seeing anymore posts on how douchebags ruin everything here anymore?

A. Yeah, I send potential clients here. It was harshing my buzz. Or whatever the douchebags say these days.

Q. What's up with the ads?

A. You mean the Gravy Train? It had to happen sooner or later, I like money, but I never liked the idea of having ads blasting readers in the face, especially on my portfolio. I still don't like the idea, really, and I will be fine tuning them to keep your reading experience pleasant. I'm actually hoping for some really goofy google ads to take screenshots of and make fun of. Send them in if you see any!

UPDATE: AMC has announced that they will not be airing the PSA in their theaters! Huzzah! 

"Thank you all for your feedback. I know there's a lot of passion shared on this thread today and I apologize for the short delay in response here.

I want to assure everyone that AMC has no plans to air any ad or Public Service Announcement about the vaccination topic, nor has any ad or PSA about the issue been shown on our screens.

Again, I appreciate you all taking the time to share your thoughts. I hope this clarifies the issue." -Ryan Noonan, Official Rep

Starting on Thanksgiving Day, select AMC theaters in the US are going to begin airing an anti-vaccination PSA made by the group SafeMinds before films. I'd rather not give the ad any more airtime than it deserves, but this is what it claims:

1.  Vaccines contain mercury.
2.  Mercury is bad for you.
3.  Therefore vaccines are bad for pregnant women and infants.
4.  Unused vaccines are disposed of as hazardous waste.

These are pretty heavy claims, and to the uninformed, that's pretty good reason not to go to a doctor to get your flu shot. But there's a problem. There's a cascading, logical flaw which nullifies the rest of the video's arguments. A single bit of misinformation that renders their entire argument void:

Single dose vaccines do not contain mercury. Multidose vials do contain a chemical preservative called Thiomersal, which contains ETHYL-mercury. What's the difference? Ethylmercury has not been shown to bioaccumulate, ie. it does not get absorbed by the body, as is passed out with the rest of the body's waste materials. Normal mercury, or methylmercury, is fat soluble and therefore collects in the brain to produce mercury poisoning. BIG difference. 

Thiomersal has not been shown to produce any negative effects. In an effort to appease what was growing concern over vaccines causing autism, thiomersal was removed from single dose vaccines. Despite the removal of this 'poison', autism rates did not drop at all.  

But lets get back to the points made by our anti-vaxx friends up there.

1. Oops. Guess we goofed there. Vaccines of any form don't contain methylmercury.
2. Er. Guess that means that point is moot. We should target Big Tuna instead.
3. Yeah. Guess that was tied to point 1, huh? Getting the Flu is infinitely more dangerous for pregnant women and infants.
4. Wuh-wuh-WAIT This is still true!! Unused vaccines are disposed of as biomedical waste because. Aw crap. Because they contain dead disease cells are considered biomedical waste, just like amputated limbs, tumors, or blood soaked bandages. Shucks.

"So their points are bupkis! What can we do to stop this fear-mongering?"

Because the ad selections are made at the corporate level, it is difficult to get them pulled from individual theaters. While efforts are underway to petition AMC theaters to pull the ads, I think the best we can do is spread positive information about vaccines, in an effort to 'vaccinate' the public against such misinformation. Tell your wife, tell your kids, and tell your husbands too. Because anti-vaxxers are misinforming everybody out there.

You can more information by visiting Skepchick.org's original posting, which includes the actual PSA video.

With any luck, our efforts will yield fruit and we won't get whooping cough for Christmas. I leave you with Penn and Teller's take on the subject, which aired on Showtime's BULLSHIT! I believe their demonstration drives the point home that despite ANY possibility that vaccines MAY be harmful (for which there is slim to nil) It's more dangerous to not get vaccinated. Do the research, weigh the risks, and please make the right choice. Your kids and your kids' friends will thank you for not giving them diphtheria. Enjoy, and think skeptically.

I feel like the last few times I have ranted about something (on Facebook rather than my blog, regrettably) it has been about news media dropping the ball and performing gross journalistic negligence. LA Missile anyone? Here was an incident where a helicopter pilot saw a perfectly explainable optical illusion, and the media RAN WITH IT ALL. THE. WAY.

Meanwhile, while government analysts were doing the journalists job of analyzing and researching possible explanations, news media cried "MISSILE! MISSILE!". Granted the government agencies took OMG WAY TOO LONG to get back to the news media, the solution is not to fill air time with useless, misinformed conjecture. Good Job, asshats.

Anyway, this is what the experts came up with:

1. Said object is moving far too slow. The helicopter pilot filmed for TEN MINUTES. What a crappy missile.
2. The plume did not expand as it gained 'altitude', as rockets and missiles actually do.
3. This has happened before.

So in the end, "Oops! Just an optical illusion." No apologies, no follow-up stories. People probably still think it was a missile. 

But Hey, remember when that NYC artist made a big stink because her McDonald's hamburger wouldn't rot? Remember how everybody cried that McD's burgers must be made out of plastic or 'chemicals'?

Well, sorry media sensationalists. The science says differently.

J. Kenji Lopez-Alt of Seriouseats.com's Burger Lab was quick to tackle this uninformed phenomemon head on.  He systematically separated all the variables in the experiment. Bun types, burger weight, climate, etc and mixed the elements to rule out any possibilites that could slew the data (ie. McD's buns create a preservative force field).  His results were predictable to anybody who has ever eaten beef jerky or made a dried apple doll head. Neither grow mold because mold requires a warm, damp environment to grow. Not a dry, climate controlled one. But again, do we see an equally large media follow-up? Nah, course not. That would serve to educate the masses. Can't have that.

McDonalds, for all its evil, corporate ways, does list the ingredients in its food, which is no different from anything bought in a supermarket, and does not make its burgers out of plastic or 'chemicals'.

(News flash:  Everything is made up of chemicals. Water is a chemical, salt is a chemical. Turning the word 'chemical' into a weasel word is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.)

The TL;DR? A 'normal' burger of identical size and weight will react the same as a McDonalds burger under the same conditions. Both will mold if given proper humidity, and both will dry and dessicate under the right conditions.  The "LA Missile" was neither in LA, nor was it a Missile. It was a jet flying towards LA over the pacific ocean.

Oh man. It. Is. HOT. I checked weather.com out of morbid curiosity and this is what it told me. Thanks weather.com. What it really feels like is that the sun lives downstairs. It's so damn hot out that everything feels hot, not just objects exposed to the horrible sunlight. The floor is hot. THE FLOOR IS HOT. I am almost 100% sure this is one of those warning signs you learn as a child about fire safety.

• Carefully check the floor for heat. If the floor is hot, it means there is a fire underneath it. Good luck.

Intense sweating means that drawing is out of the question. But then I thought, "Hey, I have a MACBOOK! I can take that and my tablet into the living room with the AC!" Brilliant! But like Steinbeck said, the best laid schemes 'o mice and men are…often…

Well I'm sure the rest is crocheted on a pillow somewhere.

Now, let me clear this up right away. I am a PC. My middle name might as well be Hodgman. My mac only gets used when I travel, want to have a computer in a remote location, or need street cred while in Williamsburg. It rarely goes outside of its protective bag. So when I pulled it out to find the battery panel peeling off, I shat a brick.

My first thought was,

"You moron, you put something on the bag and somehow pried the panel off"

My second thought was a familiar one used for broken objects and disembowelments,

"Put it back in, put it back in!".

But try as I might, I couldn't get the panel back on, and upon further inspection I noticed that something inside had swollen and busted out of the battery. One quick google search of "swollen battery" later and my fears were assuaged. Apparently this happens a lot.

"I wouldn't call it a safety feature, but if the battery didn't swell and break out, it would explode from the pressure instead" -Anonymous Apple Tech

Lucky me. Because I don't use it often, the damage could have occurred anytime between February and yesterday. At least it wasn't 'while it was on my gonads'. The techs asked me to bring it in for inspection. Fine. Alright. Back to my room ON THE SUN.

"Who is that Bald Hipster at the Top of the Post?"

You take that back right now, you bastard. That, my friends is a drawing of the lovely and charming George Hrab, who I had the pleasure of meeting this past Saturday. George is a musician, songwriter, singer, podcaster, and overall really really chill guy.  He was in NYC celebrating the release party for his 6th album, Trebuchet, which is available from iTunes or CD Baby.com. 

I've been a big fan of the Geologic Podcast and his music for a few months now, and my girlfriend Audrey can attest to how much I'd gush over his smooth character and snazzy fashion sense. But not only that, but he runs a very very well produced show that never fails to entertain.  Like his resume, the show covers a medley topics, most listener submitted, ranging from interesting fauna to musical anecdotes surrounding his career as a drummer in a funk band. George finds a perfect balance in taking everything he loves, wants, and believes in and channeling it into his craft. 

The party itself was great and the turnout was pretty good for the space. Part of me would have loved to see 700 people show up to congratulate George, but I'm glad it was a more intimate crowd. This was my first skeptically themed event so it was doubly great to meet not only George but area skeptics too. The smaller space contributed well to just interacting with total strangers talking about Phil Plait's skepdude calendar photo, which came up way too often now that I think about it…

Anyway, congratulations again to George, and I highly recommend you check out his podcast and music, whether you are a skeptic or not.

"Where's That Cartoon You Were Talking About?"

It's finished! In case you didn't know, I was working on a video super short for the sketch comedy podcast Superego. HUZZAH! I shoved it out the door, it was met with glee, and I sighed a breath of relief. I'll have more info when they release the collection, but for now, I've posted some still! Enjoy!

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It’s OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!

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How am I supposed to work in this weather!?

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John Hodgman. He's a PC.

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George Hrab's new album Trebuchet

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Erotic, at best.

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PENNY ARCADE EXPO EAST 2010

The last week in March was the East Coast's first PAX ever and Nadir, some friends, and I gathered our dice and slogged over to Boston, fueled by disgusting energy drinks and raging boners. This made for interesting bus rides and absurd sleeping arrangements. I now have the utmost respect for any woman who has ever put up with sharing a bed with me after the experience was described to me as 'sleeping next to a bear-shaped tornado'.

I will not name names. This was totally Bromosexual.

Being an a novice to conventions myself, I had no idea what to expect, really no idea. NO IDEA. Upon finally getting into the Expo via a serpentine of like-minded semi-costumed gamers, my infantile expectations were utterly shattered. The Hynes Convention Center is HUGE. Big enough for an expo floor, an auditorium for concerts and larger panels, and riddled with smaller rooms in which tables and chairs were set up to accommodate every game from Warhammer to Dungeons and Dragons Clue (REALLY!).

Then there was Will Wheaton's keynote address in which he dove into his past as a gamer and geek and then like some boyish oracle, foretold the experience we were about to have and how it would change our lives forever. He spoke of how great it is that the gaming community has come together and overcome opponents who would seek to label us as violent deviants and how now, thanks to the internet, the lone kid with no friends clutching a binder full of character sheets is all but unheard of. He related his experiences playing games from his very first D&D set to games like Dragon Age that are becoming, for all intents and purposes, as much of a narrative vehicle as a feature film, if not moreso because they put you in charge of the plot. Speaking from experience, Dragon Age was a whirlwind of greatness. Which is much like a bear-shaped tornado, but with less hair.

Will's sage advice before releasing us unto the expo floor?

"Don't be dicks."

Preaching to the choir, Will, because this was the friendliest, fun loving group of thousands and thousands of people I have ever shared a cramped space with (and I ride the subway every day). Only at PAX will you look down from a balcony to an audience lighting up with a sea of Nintendo DS's between shows as people hopped on picto chat. Only at PAX could you embrace a random stranger who was lying in wait for 20 minutes in order to pounce on you …and THEN …win a T-shirt. Stupendous! Social networking at its very basic.

Some highlights? 

• The Behemoth's new game, Battle Block Theater, wherein you compete in varied smash brothers-like gladiatorial stages for the amusement of an audience of cats.
• Red Dead Redemption, where a member of our party just had to see if he could kill a horse and subsequently freaked out the Rockstar employee showcasing the game to us "I've seen a lot of weird stuff but I've never seen anybody run back [away from the mission] and kill their own horse"
• The pile of free t-shirts I snagged! At one point on Sunday I was wearing eight.
• MC Frontalot. Holy crap. Sure I was half asleep by the time he came on, but I bought his album anyway and am happy to have him join my list of awesome, dapper, bald musicians.
• I KNOW I'm forgetting a few. Hopefully Nadir will remind me when the photos start rolling in. Stay tuned!

The costume count was tame compared to Comic Book conventions, but we did manage to capture some gems. I'm sure more will follow as my buddies unload their cameras. Enjoy!

Auxiliary Magazine April/May Issue

Here by the skin of my teeth! The sleepless nights are totally worth it!

Finally, Stuffed and Unstrung by the Henson Company

I had heard snippets about this Improv Puppet show featuring Brian Henson (son of late, legendary, Jim) geared towards an adult audience (albeit less adult than Avenue Q) but I truly had no idea what I was missing! Audrey snagged two tickets, we went to the early Saturday showing and promptly laughed our asses off! Not only was it comedically brilliant, but technically too. It was really neat to be able to see the puppeteers scramble around stage, and the craftsmanship of the puppets themselves shows that the Force still runs strong in the Henson family. Oh, and the Barry the Usher bit was a masterpiece of multi-layered video-looping goodness. I may just be easily impressed, but c'mon, if you saw it, you laughed. 

Being an improv show, results may vary, but I think our funniest skit was the one where they invite an audience member to puppet-up and join in. What was funny about our guy is that he couldn't hold his puppet up high enough, point him in the right direction, match his mouth to his voice, or bob him as he walked! So the whole time Henson behind the crab puppet was yelling "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"   "HE'S SLIDING ACROSS THE FLOOR!"  "STAND UP!"   "HE'S SPEAKING TO US THROUGH TELEPATHY!" The sketch was outright BEDLAM.

BEDLAM! 

Incidentally, the prospect of being dragged on stage to take part in the show terrified Audrey, and caused me to quickly scribble up this comic which details the aftermath of getting pulled up on stage and molested by puppets.

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It was called the Angry Wizard.

Mana Potion and Vodka *HURL*

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How awesome is that painting he's standing under?!

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George Hrab and MC Frontalot

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[Edit] I wrote this thing to announce a related comic, which can be viewed by clicking above. My absent mindedness is fittingly ironic here.

Today we delve into the line between fantasy in reality and fantasy in subconscious. Some people like to read into dreams, but my dreams are usually so direct and so insultingly simple, that it’s too clear and obvious what they ‘mean’. Thus I have no problem having a dream about swimming with my iphone and thinking ‘Gee, I guess I’m worried about breaking this thing’ or jump kicking helicopters and thinking ‘Ok, that was too much game time before bed.’ I buy into the camp that believes dreams are a subconscious and often irrational manifestation of everything from anxieties to a weird mix of what you did that day. So having dreams about work usually worries me because I shouldn’t be thinking about it that much.

Self-analysis describes me pretty reliably as an escapist. I love movies and video games for the total immersion, for that moment where you forget where you are and what you have to do later in the day. This is why I never go to see documentaries at the movie theater because I see a movie to get away from reality, not to have it put in front of me during my special escape time. You watch that movie about Darfur, I’ll be over in the next theater watching Star Trek. This love of escaping has been with me for quite some time. As a child, I was a chronic daydreamer. School was always a colossal battle of me vs. my attention. And when I wasn’t actively daydreaming, I was trying to make it look like I was paying attention. That or pushing on my closed eyes to get a fireworks display in my head. School was kinda rough. I still find myself daydreaming, but it limits itself to the occasional lapse in attention, while listening to music (I direct music videos in my head.), or when talking to you, because you’re boring. Oh ha ha ha, I’m only kidding, loyal reader. Without you around I’d just sit here and enjoy the light show. Which doesn’t sound like a bad idea actually. TTFN, folks.

P.s. For you folks who love podcasts, I highly recommend the Radiolab episode on sleep for some great stories about studies done on tetris dreams and if I can find the episode, the story of Robert Louis Stevenson, who wrote his books based on narratives played out by little people in his dreams. Wacky.

Did you know that there are two comics this week? Now you do. The above image, which I drew earlier and just had to include will take you to the new and wholly different weekly comic. Enjoy!

For more about the phenomenon talked about in this week’s comic, go here!

‘Doesn’t that mean it works?’

Not quite, Timmy. They still have to test all the other beams and then get them to collide. I don’t know about you, but I miss the garbage can now and then and these guys are trying to make atoms collide. So they still have some work cut out for them. But this means we’re still good to go on the October launch of this possible mind blowing particle accelerator.

For more about this historic event follow these links:

LHC on Current

The CERN website

The CERN compound as seen from orbit (Note that the collider ring follows a 17 mile course underground, crossing the French and Swiss borders.  If you look around you can find various outposts along the route)

The LHC live webcam

And finally… “Has the Large Hadron Collider Destroyed the World Yet.com“

Do you have a moment to talk about the Lord/Destroyer?

• Have you been saved/mercilessly slaughtered?
• Have you felt the loving/crushing embrace of his eight squishy arms? Have you felt the warmth/blinding pain of his sacred heart rays?
• The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away, but mostly he Taketh and then Giveth something less good.
• Salvation/damnation lies within the folds of his eight curling arms.
• Submit yourself to him and he will forgive…himself for what he might do to you.
• Meet his warm gaze and –WAIT DON’T GAZE INTO HIS GORGON EYES!!
• He is the Lord, your savior/destroyer.
• He is Octopus Jesus. Love him, as he Loves/Hates you.

Amen.

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Michio Kaku. Theoretical physicist, Japanese man, and a fun-loving guy who likes to freak people out with scientific doomsday scenarios every now and then.

But first, CERN has to finish the damn thing. Since its start, the LHC has seen some setbacks which include a malfunction of one of the focusing magnets during a stress tests. On top of that, apparently people are little worked up over the whole ‘micro black hole’ thing and are trying to get the LHC shut down. For fear it will destroy the world. Theoretical physicist and Bemused Soothsayer Michio Kaku assures us it will do no such thing. He says the same to those who claim the particle collisions will produce particle combinations called strangelets which would turn any matter they touch into strangelets as well. Personally I’m more worried about gray goo.

Anyway. Until its unveiling this October, sit back with some gin and juice and elucidate yourself on the workings of this supercollider, Schoolhouse Rock style. PEACE!!

CERN Rap from Will Barras on Vimeo.

P.S. If you like this, you may want to check out MC Hawking

P.S.S For more about what the LHC might find, I ran into this link this morning.