Archive for the 'Humor' category

Your reality is invading my fantasy world…

 | July 4, 2009 7:36 pm

[Edit] I wrote this thing to announce a related comic, which can be viewed by clicking above. My absent mindedness is fittingly ironic here.

Today we delve into the line between fantasy in reality and fantasy in subconscious. Some people like to read into dreams, but my dreams are usually so direct and so insultingly simple, that it’s too clear and obvious what they ‘mean’. Thus I have no problem having a dream about swimming with my iphone and thinking ‘Gee, I guess I’m worried about breaking this thing’ or jump kicking helicopters and thinking ‘Ok, that was too much game time before bed.’ I buy into the camp that believes dreams are a subconscious and often irrational manifestation of everything from anxieties to a weird mix of what you did that day. So having dreams about work usually worries me because I shouldn’t be thinking about it that much.

Self-analysis describes me pretty reliably as an escapist. I love movies and video games for the total immersion, for that moment where you forget where you are and what you have to do later in the day. This is why I never go to see documentaries at the movie theater because I see a movie to get away from reality, not to have it put in front of me during my special escape time. You watch that movie about Darfur, I’ll be over in the next theater watching Star Trek. This love of escaping has been with me for quite some time. As a child, I was a chronic daydreamer. School was always a colossal battle of me vs. my attention. And when I wasn’t actively daydreaming, I was trying to make it look like I was paying attention. That or pushing on my closed eyes to get a fireworks display in my head. School was kinda rough. I still find myself daydreaming, but it limits itself to the occasional lapse in attention, while listening to music (I direct music videos in my head.), or when talking to you, because you’re boring. Oh ha ha ha, I’m only kidding, loyal reader. Without you around I’d just sit here and enjoy the light show. Which doesn’t sound like a bad idea actually. TTFN, folks.

 

P.s. For you folks who love podcasts, I highly recommend the Radiolab episode on sleep for some great stories about studies done on tetris dreams and if I can find the episode, the story of Robert Louis Stevenson, who wrote his books based on narratives played out by little people in his dreams. Wacky.

 

You REALLY have to play Prototype. Do it now.
My day job. Oh holy moley would it be awesome if I painted in my sleep. It’d save me so much time!
My day job. Oh holy moley would it be awesome if I painted in my sleep. It’d save me so much time!
A select few will know exactly what Calvin and Hobbes comic I’m thinking of. Commence giggles. ‘Do you think I’d look TOO interested?’
Try it! They’re called Phosphenes

 

Updates and Recurring Dreams

 | March 22, 2009 9:09 pm
updates-and-recurring-dreams

Holy shmoly, I’ve been slacking. Ladies and gentlemen, what you see here before you are the first stirrings of me coming out of a terrible winter funk. I’ve spent the last few months pittering around with nary a finished piece to show for it save a brewtastic, Mucha-inspired painting and a modified action figure.  But mostly there has just been a lack of updates here on the site, not so much here at my desk.  I’ll get to posting some new works once they get published/delivered to their rightful owners. But to start things off, how about a new webcomic?


A lovely heartwarming Christmas present for the parentals…

…and for Nadir. This used to be a John McCain action figure. GET IT? HA!

A Recurring Dream

Ah dreams. Last November I bought myself a newfangled iPhone as a self-congratulating birthday present. Though it has more than paid for itself in usefulness, I find my recent dreams strangely haunted by it. On more than one occasion I have had a dream similar to the one depicted in this week’s comic. Some folk have tried to glean a deeper meaning from these dreams, but I’ pretty sure I’m just afraid of breaking the damn thing. In any case, you can read the first in what I hope becomes a series here. Enjoy!


Cooking Mama App!!!!!

New Webcomic and Twitter

 | November 8, 2008 8:37 pm
new-webcomic-and-twitter

After a brief hiatus, the weekly webcomic is back! In fact, this week we have 2 pages of goodness! The comic is pretty much word for word, weird image for weird image a dream I had Tuesday night. Spawned no doubt by the election and too much Fallout 3, it got stuck in my head all week until I could sketch it out. Enjoy the oddness!

In other news, you can now pointlessly stalk me on Twitter. You can either click the twitter icon underneath ‘Networks’ or add ‘lonelytylenol’. You aren’t missing anything if you don’t though.

Ultra Douche

 | October 18, 2008 12:40 pm
ultra-douche

Yeah, that’s how I’m feeling right now. No comics, no posts, not much new art. I know, I know. I’ve been an ultra douche . But I have excuses! Still recovering from various personal messes and an awesome weekend in the City of Brotherly Love. Full of booze, friends, and yes, more D&D. I can hardly contain myself. I mean it, I still feel like puking all that beer and pizza. Nnnghhh…


I kid you not. The only thing I approve about Wal-Mart. I give it 2 popped collars!

Don’t hurl on me, bro.

…For What? Zee Germans?

 | September 28, 2008 12:21 pm

New webcomic up today. Nazis. Yes, Nazis. Zee Germans. Jerry. Everybody’s favorite bad guys. Who doesn’t like a good Nazi Bashing movie? Indiana Jones? The Rocketeer? Well, maybe just Indiana Jones. Hell, in the movie version of “The Sum of All Fears” they even changed the terrorists to be some crazy Neo-Nazi group because they thought having Muslim bad guys after 9/11 would be a touchy subject. So whether they’re speeding around in little motorcycles, conducting strange occult experiments, or blowing up Baltimore, you have to admit:

We’re waiting for the Nazi’s to show up. Then the action can start.

Groggy Morning Time Wasting

 | September 26, 2008 8:02 am
groggy-morning-time-wasting

My God Will Save Me

A little gem I found through Stumble Upon this morning. Enjoy while I try to figure out something meaningful to post!

Oprah Trolled, Palin Hacked

 | September 23, 2008 9:25 pm
oprah-trolled-palin-hacked

What is it with celebrities and the internet? How can you run a country/media empire without knowing basic internet concepts. Since I am a nice guy, here they are:

A) Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

B) Don’t use your ZIP code as your ‘secret question’

Had Oprah and Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin followed my advice, they would have avoided making fools of themselves.

Which I am conveniently beaming into the past with MIND RAYS.

Here’s the goodness!

Did you know?

 | September 13, 2008 2:54 pm

Did you know that there are two comics this week? Now you do. The above image, which I drew earlier and just had to include will take you to the new and wholly different weekly comic. Enjoy!

For more about the phenomenon talked about in this week’s comic, go here!

Announcing Ozgur’s Photoshop-arama!

 | 12:03 am

Introducing the first contest ever here on The Bard! Well, its like a contest anyway. It more of a ‘Do it for the lulz’ event. With some prizes if I can dig some gems from my collection of…well… stuff. Anyway, the directions are simple: Download the image above, photoshop some boring stuff in the first panel, then hilarity into the third. There are no rules. Get out there and make me some content!

Join the Facebook Group!

See: Crap

Fire it up… for Science!

 | September 11, 2008 7:57 pm
fire-it-up-for-science

As of yesterday, in the early morn, the Large Hadron Collider successfully fired its ‘First Beam’. Whats that mean? It means that the world enlightening/destroying supercollider shot a single particle around its 27km course. People all over the world could witness the test via satellite or web-cast. Alas, yours truly had to work that morning. DAMMIT!!!

‘Doesn’t that mean it works?’