Oprah Trolled, Palin Hacked

 | September 23, 2008 9:25 pm
oprah-trolled-palin-hacked

What is it with celebrities and the internet? How can you run a country/media empire without knowing basic internet concepts. Since I am a nice guy, here they are:

A) Don’t believe everything you read on the internet.

B) Don’t use your ZIP code as your ‘secret question’

Had Oprah and Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin followed my advice, they would have avoided making fools of themselves.

Which I am conveniently beaming into the past with MIND RAYS.

A few days ago, one of Palin’s e-mail addresses was hacked. No, this wasn’t some Matrix-style ‘interface with the root directory’ uploading data to the MCP kinda stuff. The address in question was a Yahoo Mail account, and it was done using the oh so helpful ‘I Forgot My Password’ button. Simply click this link and you are asked a secret question that only you, Sarah Palin, Possible Vice-Leader of the Free World, should know: “What is your ZIP code?”

COME ON! To make things worse, there are only 37 ZIP codes in Alaska, and only TWO for Wasilla, Palin’s hometown. Doesn’t take a numerologist to figure it out.

So anyway, some clown got in and found she was using this yahoo account for government purposes. A YAHOO ACCOUNT! Luckily for her, it was totally boring and the perps just sent photoshopped nude photos of her to her friends and posted her contacts online. Of course, this may be a backwards attempt to reach out to the average American. “omg, Palin’s myspace got phished just like mine! She’s one of us!

Ha! Not on this site. Sicko!

Here’s Picard.

Moving onward, who does Oprah’s fact checking/research? Apparently nobody, and if there is a fact checker, they should be fired.  Apparently, during an internet discussion on Oprah’s message board about pedophiles, an internet jackass, claiming to be a member of a pedophile organization, posted the following:

We do not forgive. We do not forget. We have over 9000 penises and they’re all raping your children.


ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAND!!

Normally, people ignore the troll. Normally, we have our giggles and ignore the troll. Normally, somebody pipes in and says ‘Hey, don’t feed the trolls.’ and ignore said troll.

But not Oprah.

  • She bites.
  • She bites down hard.
  • Hook, line, and sinker.

She then does the prudent thing and goes on her show with this information. COME ON! Who believes this stuff? I mean, I suppose NAMBLA might have over 9000 members, but I don’t think they make vague proclamations like that. The internet is clearly serious business, and its good to know that a 14 year old on the internet can guide the actions of the woman who makes or breaks your book sales. I guess I need to go on her boards more often and proclaim how famous I am. In fact, do me a favor and go on her board to let her know that evil libertarian ninja pedophiles have broken into her studio and written ‘gullible’ on her ceiling.

We’ll see how that plays out.

StumbleUpon It!
Peter 'the Main Vein' Do'urden wrote a comment on September 24, 2008

my ’9000 penises’ quote was taken way out of context. I meant it as the ROYAL ‘we’. When I’m naked I look like Cthulhu doing a headstand!

Care to comment?